Monday, May 28, 2007

Jihad!!

There's this old joke, where Lord Mountbatten is about to leave India after his term as GG ends. As his plane is about to board, J. Nehru and V. Patel come running to say one final goodbye. As they part, the two ask Mountbatten, hey you've been running this country a while now, got any advice for us? Mountbatten thinks, and says, yeah, I do. Don't take faltu pangas. I normally find this to be some very good advice. But sometime, some shit happens, and you're like, "This is too much now!" Some stuff you cannot let go by. Sometimes, you have to take a stand. This is exactly that kind of time.

Now I normally have no problems with the blogger known to us as Krrish. Krissh may have a pathological hatred for libertarians, be totally anal retentive on Global Warming* Climate Change, and display a complete and utter lack of taste and decorum on occasion, but hey, nobody's perfect. But this time, young Kriish crossed a line.
(referring to an article about MoD funding for research into the Arthashastra) If any king had ArthaShastra at his disposal, why didn’t he conquer the world. Why was Hindu religion confined to the subcontinent area? Well, it (the research) came from Pune. I am not surprised about it. What else can you expect from places like Pune and Nagpur, which are infested with Hindutva fools and ideology. (Link)
Dude, you want to riff on Hindutva, you go right ahead. You don't like the NDA government, you write how much suck all you like. But when you a) impugn the record of Pune University (my soon-to-be alma mater), b) cast aspersions on my city and c) badmouth a work as great and dear to me as the Arthshastra, you, my friend, have earned my undying hatred. You've managed to compress, in five concise sentences, an undeniable trifecta of suck. That makes you a three time loser in my eyes, you punk.

Taking all of this into account, I have decided to declare a Jihad against Krishh. I hereby pledge on the Light and my hope of salvation that I will never let an opportunity to speak against him go by. I will take his words out of context and use them against him. I will leave no stone unturned in making him look bad. I will also enlist others in this Crusade Jihad. I will utilise all the resources and contacts of the vast right-wing conspiracy in making sure that every person's hand is turned against him. I will ask my faithful readers to join this cause and bring him down. Because together we can, and we will!!

Kkrish, if you're reading this, take heed. Your wickedness and your mischief is coming back to haunt you. Your chickens are coming home to roost. I advise you to set your affairs in the blogosphere in order, punk, because this is a declaration of war. May thy knife chip and shatter, motherbitch!
*Sorry, I forgot its not cool to use that phrase anymore.